‘Bittersweet’ romance for Dawn Pollock & John Cross

Relationship escalates after she texts smiley face, giving him the green light

Jun 16, 2009
JONI B. HANNIGAN
Managing Editor

ENGAGED John Cross and Dawn Pollock with her children, (l-r) Hope, Courtney, Brooke, and (front row), Kirk and Blake. Courtesy photo

NORTH PORT (FBW)—Texting one liners from a safe circle of friends at Starbucks, John Cross got a little rush of adrenaline when he asked the woman at the other end of the cell phone if she liked coffee. “No, but if I did would you bring me some?” she texted back, adding a smiling face at the end.

“To me, that was like, the door is open, the light is green,” Cross laughed.

At times like love-struck teenagers, John Cross, president of the Florida Baptist State Convention and pastor of South Biscayne Church in Northport, and Dawn Pollock, widow of the late Forrest Pollock, who was pastor of Bell Shoals Baptist Church in Brandon, described their whirlwind engagement in an interview with Florida Baptist Witness.

“I am blushing right now,” Pollock said, in talking about adding the smiley face to the cell phone text message. “I did send the flirty message.”

Courtesy photo

Romance aside, Pollock said this is a “bittersweet time” for her. In May, 2008, her husband, Forrest Pollock, 44, and their 13-year-old son perished in an airplane crash in the mountains of North Carolina.

Cross was one of the thousands who attended the moving memorial service in Brandon. He and Forrest Pollock had known each other as ministers and when a few couples from his church moved north to Brandon, Cross recommended they attend Bell Shoals.

It was at the service, however, that Cross first met Dawn Pollock and began praying for her and her five children, Courtney, 16; Brooke, 15; Hope, 12; Blake, 11; and Kirk, 9, as they faced their tremendous loss.

Nearly seven months later, Cross, 46 and never married, said God brought the family to mind during the Christmas season at the same time he was also seriously praying for direction in his life regarding relationships and family.

“I prayed even more during that time for them thinking of how hard it must be to walk through all of this,” Cross said. In January, he asked some pastor friends what they thought about him contacting her in Oklahoma where she had resettled with extended family after her husband’s death. “Absolutely,” Cross said he was told.

FACEBOOK FRIENDS

Cross didn’t waste any time. Seeking her profile on Facebook, a social networking site also widely used for ministry, he sent her a message letting her know who he was and that he had been praying for her and her family.

Meanwhile, Pollock said by the time Cross sent his message, she had been praying for a “father figure” for her children. “To be honest, I have always heard that if you have a good marriage that when someone passes that you want to be remarried because you just know how wonderful marriage can be. And at the time, I was praying that God would send somebody,” Pollock admitted.

Pollock said she didn’t realize her prayers apparently would be answered so quickly and “figured it would probably be a couple of years.”

“I was fine with that, but when I say praying, I was desperately praying,” she laughed.

So with her children gathered around the computer monitor checking out the profile picture of Cross on Facebook, Pollock said she decided she was “definitely interested,” at least enough to let him be her “Friend” on Facebook—allowing him access to her information, photos and comments, and gaining access to his network of “Friends.”

Checking out his profile, “I had to look at his picture to make sure I was attracted to him,” Pollock admitted—adding, “I’m blushing right now.” She and the children perused the link to his church website and decided pretty quickly Cross was a man of interest.

So after emailing each other for a short while, Cross used another form of communication on the cell phone to send the text message about coffee—and their relationship jumped to the next level with a smiley face.

Cross remembers Jan. 26 distinctly because he was in Tampa just prior to the Super Bowl to bring greetings at a revival that night at First Baptist Church in Temple Terrace where New Orleans pastor Fred Luter was preaching.

“I was texting Dawn the whole time while they were talking and it was snowing in Oklahoma,” Cross remembered, about being with pastor friends in Starbucks and texting Pollock. “She told me she liked hot chocolate, so it kind of became a joke that I would bring her some, but I had a funeral that Thursday and … I couldn’t get there until Sunday.”

Describing their first date in Oklahoma in a deserted Italian restaurant on Super Bowl Sunday, Feb. 4, Cross said he was late after getting lost—in spite of using his GPS—and wanting to make a good impression. Meeting at the restaurant was her idea, since she had told the kids only that she was meeting a friend and was unsure she was going to let him go to her house and meet her children.

“She was more stunningly beautiful, even way more than her pictures on Facebook,” Cross sighed. “She was wearing jeans with a black shirt with a very bright red coat. She just looked gorgeous.”

Pollock said she had no idea Cross would hop on a plane when she sent the smiley face, but admitted, “I was glad he did, very glad he did.”

Not knowing what to expect after a good two-hour talk at the restaurant, Pollock said they finally headed to her house where she thought meeting the kids would literally “scare him off.”

To even her surprise, Pollock said her five children were all lined up in the living room waiting for them—even though she was unsure she would bring Cross home, being uncomfortable about the whole idea of “dating.”

Cross, however, whom Pollock described as “youthful and fun” took to the kids at once, sharing and laughing and joking with them. Crediting his years of experience in youth and pastoral ministry, she believes he has learned by interacting and serving as a role model in ways that mimic parenting.

“He’s not trying too hard, he’s just being there and loving on them and mainly listening to them,” Pollock said. “It’s all been a God thing.”

GOING TO THE CHAPEL

On April 17 Cross asked Pollock to marry him, after first receiving her father’s and mother’s blessing, and designing a ring she said more than sufficiently “sparkles.”

On bended knee, on the bay in Sarasota, Cross said he told her he “loved her” and desired to spend the rest of his life with her.

“I was very, very, very surprised,” Pollock said. In Florida for several days visiting, she had all but given up when Cross finally popped the question. Waiting for the ring to be delivered, he didn’t know she had been receiving eager phone calls from family and friends. She was too polite to ask him what the holdup was.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Cross said. “I didn’t want it to be totally predictable.”

Cross said after decades of being single and praying for God’s will in the area of relationships, he is thankfully anticipating a season where he will “have the joy of having a wife and family.”

An added blessing, he said, is that Pollock has, since she was a teenager, felt called to be a pastor’s wife, “so, it was like an instant, WOW!” And when Cross announced his engagement in all three worship services at South Biscayne Church the weekend after he proposed, he and Pollock received a standing ovation.

“Why should we be surprised when we ask God for something and He answers our prayer?” Cross asked. “I just knew all along God had a plan and I never would have dreamed that it would be that way. I tell her she’s more than I would have prayed for, obviously the blessing of five beautiful children—they are just so awesome.”

Pollock said one of the ways she knew their relationship was a “God thing,” was that her children have already made such a good connection to Cross—one of them commenting on the fact that he doesn’t hesitate to talk about their late father and brother, Forrest and Preston Pollock.

“The kids have grown to love him and they’ve gotten affectionate with him,” Pollock said.

The couple said they will marry by the end of the year but stopped short of sharing a date. Calling this a time of “transition” as everyone looks towards the future, Cross said he is working to finish a house he had intended to use as a retreat center for pastors—a five bedroom family home with a large bedroom the two young boys will share with drums, guitars and other entertainment items.

But even with their strong biblical foundation and guiding principals—Cross and Pollock acknowledge challenges ahead, although Cross credited Pollock’s leadership and encouragement for the children’s very positive response to him so far. He said the “adjustment” or “transition” is similar to what the Apostle Paul talked about in 1 Corinthians when he referred to being singularly focused.

Challenges so far? “The first time the kids saw us kiss,” Pollock said. “That was very different for them, but the good thing is that we talked about it and we’re very open about it.”

Inevitably, the children have asked other questions about their mom and Cross, for example, “do you love him more than you loved daddy?” or “do you love him more than you love me?”

“I tell them, ‘I loved your daddy and your daddy had mentioned several times that if he was to ever go to heaven before me … that he wanted me to remarry because he wanted the children and me to be taken care of,’” Pollock said. “I’ve told them John is not replacing their daddy, but as we read a book and it has different chapters, this is just a different chapter in the book of our life. That seems to resonate with them, seeing that we’re just in a different chapter and you still remember all the other chapters.”

Cross said there’s “no doubt” he is more understanding of married folks, now that he’s engaged to a woman with children, “especially when they have several children” who are involved in guitar lessons, sporting events and church activities. “It’s been eye opening,” he said.

“It’s just been a beautiful picture of God working in all of our lives,” Pollock said.

Cross agreed.

“It’s worth it when you wait on God,” Cross said. “God does exceedingly and abundantly above all that we can ever imagine, ask or think, according to His will.”

Email this Article Print this page