LAKELAND (FBW)—Seven years after Cathy Dyer and her husband were married, a crisis arose in their marriage that nearly destroyed it.
In Our Hardcore Battle Plan for Wives, a resource written specifically for women, Dyer, a member of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, shares her real-life story and testimony of “God’s ability to turn tragedy into triumph.”
In the book, Dyer, who recently celebrated 19 years of marriage, talks about how her husband’s secret addiction came to light, dramatically changing their lives forever.
Our Hardcore Battle Plan for Wives is co-authored by Jay Dennis, pastor of First Baptist Church at the Mall, and is a church-based resource designed to complement Our Hardcore Battle plan, a study that is a component of the million men initiative designed to help men win the battle against pornography. Dennis launched the initiated in June at the Southern Baptist Convention, meeting in Houston.
In the book aimed at women, Dyer reveals her story in Part I of the book, titled, “The War.”
Sharing handwritten pages taken directly from her personal journal, she gives readers a poignant glimpse of her private pain and process of restoration. An October, 2012 poem looking back and describing her journey is labeled, “Providential Serendipity.”
The mother of two children, Dyer answers questions about what she expected as a result of co-authoring the book and how she prepared:
What do you anticipate will be the result of the release of your book?
I hope and pray that the book for women, along with the books Pastor Jay has written for men and pastors, will be a CATALYST for many things: for people to find a kindred spirit, practical advice, help, and deliverance. Additionally, it has been my prayer that pastors will use these materials with their congregations and join the movement (www.join1millionmen.org).
How have you prepared for any of the “shame” issues that come with the release of your personal information to the public?
Honestly, shame was a minor issue as I worked on this material. My husband and I have been involved in some capacity of ministry in this area since about 2003, so I’m fairly used to putting my story “out there” and sharing openly. However, when we first started sharing with groups of people, it was nerve-wracking. Until you get used to it, telling people that your husband was unfaithful and a porn addict is an awkward topic to broach; but Greg and I realized—from our own situation—that this is a topic that sorely needs to be addressed. Someone has to be bold and have those awkward conversations. Why not us?
How do you think this will help other women who are dealing with the same issue?
When I was going through all the MESS of my marriage, it helped so much to read people’s personal stories, to know that someone out there had gone through the same thing … and survived! One influential book for me was by Bonnie Keen, called Blessed are the Desperate. I hope many things for my book, but my number one hope is that women who are struggling with pornography or even an affair in their marriage will find solace in my story, that they will connect with my pain and then see the HOPE on the other side, that they will draw near to God as they are going through all the wreckage.
Our Hardcore Battle Plan for Wives is available online at LifeWay http://www.lifeway.com/Product/our-hardcore-battle-plan-for-wives-winning-in-the-war-against-pornography-P005584805
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